what?!

The following blog post might be misinterpreted as offensive and disrespectful. Still, I have a lot to say and for those who don't know me, read this and you'll know what's going on inside of my head. Alright it's going to be long, patience.

Ok it was yesterday. Eve as we know. I was at a friend's church to see their presentation. It's basically a drama, with good music, live band, singing, kinda like a musical. And everything's cool, until. One of the guys told us that Jesus loves all of us, He cares for all of us and is constantly thinking of us. And then, he said 'I want you all to close your eyes, and on the count of 3, I would like you to raise your right hand up and then down immediately.' Okay notice the word 'want'. It's an ordering sentence. He wants us (including me) to do what he says. I was like yea sure why not. And as a participating audience, I did.

Then, the guy asked all of those who raised their hand to come forth to the front of the stage. I was a bit unsure but my friend told me they were only going to pray for us. And inside my head, I thought it would be something like 'I wish you all good luck good love good life and god bless.' Or something like that. And so I did. Now this old guy hands me a form. WHAT?!! I was thinking. What? Am I signing up for something? What is going on? There wasn't many of us in front of the stage. 5 or 6 perhaps. And under those circumstances I kinda had to fill the form. Right before I did anything, I asked the old man 'What do it mean if I filled the form?' in chinese. He said to me that I would then be accepting Christ. Now here's the REAL problem. The word. ACCEPT. To me, and maybe only to me, accept means a bit like to allow the existence of something, to accept it la. So I was figuring ' yea I do accept Christ, if I do not accept Christianity, I wouldn't be here today would I?' The form was filled. And the guy asked us to repeat after him. I don't know what he was going to say. All I did was merely repeating his words. That couldn't hurt. And so I did. After that everyone was shaking hands and I got a few booklets and got back to my seat.

The first thing I asked my friend. 'So does this means that I'm now christian?'. She was between yes and not sure. She's new as well. Okay nevermind, I asked my other friend, who is considered a more senior christian. She asked me back 'Did you repeat the guys words just now?'. I was like yea of course, he asked me to. She said that in the case I am.

OKAY STOP. WHAT ?! WHAT.

I feel that this is not right and I'm not happy about it. I know that this isn't a serious matter, cause what matters is your beliefs. But now procedure-wise. I am a christian? Okay it's not that I don't like christianity or anything. I respect all religions and my comment had nothing to do with it. It's how the people did things.

1st. That guy ASKED us to raise hand.
2nd. He ASKED us to go down to the stage.
3rd. I was ASKED to fill the form.
4th. He ASKED us to repeat after him.

What is going on?!! What is this?! Honestly I was feeling a bit deceived. I mean just look, if you carefully think, in a way, that guy is ORDERING us to become a christian?!

Example :
A : you put your right hand in.
B : Okay...
A : you put your right hand out.
B : Okay...
A : you put your left foot in.
B : Okay...
A: and you shake it all around.
B : Okay...
A : you just did the hokey pokey.
B : I DID WHAT?!

I hope you guys understand what I'm feeling. I was told to get myself into a situation where I don't even know it's happening? And after that THEN I know the truth. How can this be right?!

But I think the real problem lies with the word ACCEPT. To me accept and believe is two different words with different meanings. Later then I found out that in a christian's term, accepting Christ means believing Christ. Which makes you a believer, a christian. But I am an outsider. How was I suppose to know that?! In my opinion, I accept Christ, but that doesn't mean I believe in Christ. Please at all times remember that this has nothing to do with Christian, in this case, it's a misunderstanding of words.

Example: You wanna buy a car, that price is 50k. The guy asks you 'Do you accept the price?'. In my head I would think 'Hm 50K is reasonable.. ok I accept the price.' But then that doesn't mean I have to buy that car right?!

I didn't know that they can actually mean the same thing, and honestly as an outsider or you would call it a non-believer. I couldn't have possibly know that. Maybe I'm being a bit ignorant right now, but why wouldn't they just say, FILL THIS FORM AND YOU ARE NOW A CHRISTIAN. I mean everyone can understand this, its clear, straightforward. Accept? In this case isn't this a confusing word? And this caused me to misjudge.

In my opinion, religion is not a joking matter. It changes your lifestyle, your beliefs, your habits. Basically your LIFE. And that is also a reason I consider myself a free thinker. Because I feel that I don't fit to be in any religion. I don't qualify be in a religion. Why? I lack belief. For me, it's very hard to fully believe in a religion because I simply listen to all the stories but never got any real and hard facts. Therefore if I can't fully believe in it then it is not right to label myself as a believer in any religion. Still, I do believe in a GOD and its creations.

Okay please please remember that the blog post above is my comment on how the people did things. Not about the religion. I have no prejudice against christianity. I respect all the others as well. I do accept all the religions but again, doesn't mean I believe in them.

Peace.