Maybe that's why I'm a libra

And so we lost. The debate. Free is the word.

It was Ck, Zhuwen, Soonming and I vs Kaisian, Weixian, Jouheng and Kokhui. It was great debating with them, flaunting arguing skills, and showing all sorts of bitchy faces. In the end, we lost. There was no hard feelings at all as we lost in the fairest manner possible. We lack cohesiveness and experience, we had a weak preparation, and we had not established our points clearly. They had the edge. It was their 1109 against our 9xx, I forgot what the xx was. Anyways it was a clear win. Good job guys, really!

My guess was correct, best debator went to Kokhui. He was fluent in his speech, he kept clarity under the fire of our brutal questioning and I liked the dynamics is his tone. You totally deserved it, well done.

I won't talk much about the match. I wanna talk about losing, which is what I think many people perceived wrongly. Believe it or not, to me winning is equivalent to losing. I believe that in life everything exists in equilibrium, very much like physics, forces in equilibrium, forces act in pairs, action and reaction. Therefore if we value everything based on this concept, or I would say mindset, we can clearly define that winning is same as losing. It's like choosing between 2+2 and 3+1. There is no difference in value. So why bother to choose? Just flow with it.

What exactly is it that you get when you win? Trophy, maybe cash prize, praise, sense of accomplishment etc. It's all good. And that's where people stop thinking! Now if we look into it, what do we get when we lose? Experience, knowledge of our mistakes, a stronger will to strive, closer relationship with friends etc. I'm happy for that. At the end of the day, both sides add up to an equal value. That's what I see.

Of course you will get that tinge of happiness, superiority, and ecstasy when you win, that is a great feeling isn't it. Still, how long can that feeling last? Do you agree that it will make your next loss more painful? Once again, equality.

That is why I view win and lose the same. They exist in seemingly opposite forms but are essentially the same. And that is also why I compete in so many chess competitions although I never won, not even one. Am I the idiot who can't realise that I'm not good enough? What do I get? Fun, experience, thrill, and friends. I'm getting what the winners get just in another way. In that sense, is there any reason to be sad of losing?

That puts off all the pressure in whatever I pursue. I only feel pressurise, or feel that there's a need to win when external factors are taken into account. For example, maybe if I win or do well in something, my parents will feel happy, or I can then pass my piano exam. In that case, something else is at stake and I will do my best to achieve it. Needless to say I'll always do my best in whatever I do, not for winning or anything but to live up to my own standards.

Sometimes I feel a bit annoyed when people ask me 'Did you win?'. 'How did it went?' is more appropriate. Regardless of me winning or losing, why does a person ask such question? In my mind winning and losing is the same, so why do people appear to be in favour of winning? Apparently we do not share to same frequency of thinking. I'm not pointing fingers saying who's wrong who's right, there's a huge possibility that all the crap above is just me in my fantasy world of cards and cheese.

You win some, you lose some. I lost this one. Can't be any simpler.