Cardiorchestra

I had a hard time figuring out the title for this post. I want it to express how I feel. And I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now. Empty? Sad? Angry? I just feel uneasy.

庄丽霏. A former SJK(C) Pei Hwa teacher, passed away yesterday. 5 8 10. Head on car crash. She died, with her unborn child. 8 month old, so ready to see the world, yet God loves them more than we do. Another teacher died as well, rest in peace.

She never taught my class. Though she was one of the teachers who lead the year end school trip when I was primary six.

That was already 5 years ago. Yet I had a clear memory of her. She checked on my hotel room. She went in and saw my clothes. I laid them there nicely for tomorrow, shirt, pants and underpants. And she went '这个是谁的低裤？' with 低裤 pronounced as TEH KO. I could never forget that.

We even got stuck on the same ride at Genting Highlands. The spider man one, with the person lying horizontally. The thing went haywire. It stopped half way. She was afraid. I remember Yong Hing, Jeremy, Kok Wai was there too. We were unharmed.

We called her 庄妈. I think it was because throughout the trip she was like a mother to us. Taking care of us like kids, which back then we were. We had fun.

How sad. How unfortunate. How shocking. How unpredictable. That spells life.

People live. People die. It's just natural. So why are we sad when we know it's coming sooner or later? Because we're not ready. We're unprepared to lose our loved ones. And why is that? Because we're not loving them more enough. So what are we waiting for? What am I waiting for?

Learn to love. And when it's time. Let go.