Patience my dear

Can't you see that I'm different?

So if you thought that I skipped a post yesterday, you're wrong. I did post something. A flowery poem. For about 10 minutes that is. Then I deleted it because it was pointless and not worth reading at all.

School was boring as hell. So nothing new there. Oh I'm having my pre-L lesson tomorrow. So that'll be my first OFFICIAL driving lesson. Yes I'll be skipping school tomorrow.

Things are still in preparation. I want things to go the right way, the way I want them to be. I'll make it happen I swear. ( Now that I've promised I'll just have to do it. )

Ah I don't enjoy brainstorming alone. It doesn't even make sense I know. Like I care.

*Tip for driving lessons : If uncle shouts at you, just go full blast on the gas pedal. If he asks why, just say 你凶我，我吓到.*

Romance of the dark clouds

My only one for the only you

What a tiring day.

Turns out that my fingerprints are rather odd. The sensor couldn't match them with my ic. Could've been other reasons as well. Long story short, I went back to Berjaya to make a Smartcard and took the undang test afterwards.

I passed. 49/50.

So the clouds were real dark. No doubt it was going to rain. And the uncle went "Oh why don't I give you your first lesson?" Technically I was not to take any driving lessons as I have not listened to the class nor have I attained my L plate. Yea well anyways I did.

MY FIRST DRIVING LESSON. WOOOOO!

Ah it was mad fun! And it was raining too. Oh so romantic. Me, uncle, kancil.

I'm not sure how to describe the whole process but it's really different from the way you think it is like. We stopped at Sutera Biru there to practice a few rounds and then moved on to the Berjaya practice spot-place-site-whatever. I'm very proud to say that I didn't die fire throughout the whole session.

It was very relaxing. I wasn't tense at all. Chatting with the uncle along the way. Of course it was slightly difficult as it was my first time. Though with practice I'm sure I'll get the hang of it soon. I so wanna do it again.




*Now all I need is a car.*

Pocket pairs

I feel different, I feel blue.

Not a fan of the picture above.

Just showing off a few decks of mine.

I'm taking my undang test tomorrow afternoon.

Wait, it's already 12.17am. So it's later in the afternoon.

I have to go through 500 questions first. I'm at question 176.

Uh, nothing much happened today.

So, back to reading.

Bye & night.

*Double cheese burger + Double cheese burger = Triple cheese burger + Cheese burger = Quad cheese burger*

That's a very good question

I'll breathe under this pressure

So I went to Sunway for a scholarships interview earlier today. It was 2 interviewers (Sunway JB people) vs 1 interviewee (me). Cheng Yin said hers was quite easy. Mine, umm, the opposite. Gosh, room 1 was just brutal.

We were asked to read a case study outside the room before the actual interview. I got case 2. It was maid abusing child, ultimately killing the child. Here are the questions asked based on the case study, the ones that I remember that is.

1. What are the importances of the bond between maid and parent/child?
2. What are the three main criteria in choosing a maid?
3. As the head of XXXX (some maid agency), how do you prevent maid abuse?

Probably a few more. And of course there were other questions as well.

1. Tell me about yourself.
2. What's your favourite subject? (Math and science, not bio though)
3. Why so?
4. What was the greatest challege for you during the Seagate Video Competition?
5. What video editing software did you use? (Cause I said the hardest part was the editing)
6. Are you the leader of the video team? If so, how did you allocated duties to the other members?
7. As the President of YDM, how do you overcome the differences between the member?
8. How will you react to different opinions from other members?
9. What sports do you play? (Sometimes basketball, seldom badminton)
10. So what is your role in a basketball game?
11. Why did you choose Sunway College JB?

And the killer question.

WHY SHOULD WE GRANT YOU THE SCHOLARSHIPS?


Ish, exactly. Still, I had answered every question with a fair amount of confidence. I spoke rather fluently. So at the end of the day I think I did alright. I enjoyed it.

* Oreo cheese cake is like a giant oreo. Thanks mum for the belated birthday cake. *

Slightly less than three

You're just like her,


enough said.

*Ohhh yess, will start my driving lessons real soon. Sunway interview tomorrow, wish me luck. =) *

Do you believe in magic?

It's always hard to say yes.

Oh wait,

What if you were to choose how everything will be?

What if you had total control over everything you see?

What if the magic was done by you, not me?



The spectator becomes the magician.

*My handling of Helder Guimaraes's Out Of This Water, a slightly refined version*

I forgot how to breathe

THIS IS IT.

A birthday present given to me by a good friend, MAY CHAI XIN YI and her ER GE.

It was a box. Wrapped beautifully by erge. I wasn't sure what it was. Kinda light. I opened it while I was on the phone with Xin Yi. She had to be there. I removed the wrapping paper to see a parcel with a sticker that said something about first-class-international-delivery-mail-postage-US?! I opened the parcel and underneath the paper cushions, was this.

THE SENTINEL DECK

OH. MY. GOD.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god!!! I could not believe what I saw!!!! THIS IS...OHHH GOD THIS IS... GOSH... JUST.... AHH!!!

*Goes mad like May totally would if she met Khalil *

I screamed like hell and thanked her for somewhat 27 million times. Throughout the 8 minute phone call I think it was like 4 minutes of OMGOMGOMG!!!!-ing + 2 minutes of THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU-ing + 2 minutes gasping for air so that I don't faint. It's almost like a mental breakdown, but in a good way, a GREAT way.

Turns out that Xin Yi had no idea what to get me for my birthday so she bought this deck online with the help of his brother. She found out about this deck when she saw a video of it on facebook, posted by me of course.

I indicated in that post that I'LL HUG ANYONE WHO GETS ME ONE OF THESE. Uhh.. haha. Oh wait, maybe she... nevermind.

Okay, close up shots of this magnificent beauty!!!!

Seriously this deck has the most beautfiful and sophisticated cardbox. The artwork is just breathtaking!

I just found out that my 3.2 megapixel phone can take focus shots. I really like this one.

Mm mmm! Sexy back.



Oh god these just look AMAZING.



The most unique face design that I've ever come across.

Love the jokers! Looks so classic yet so modern!

The back design is just perfect for giant fans.


Truly a surprise. I loved it. Thank you.

Yours sincerely

Ohhh yes, I'm 17.

This blog post may seem short because words can't express how I feel, they can't.

Thank you all who wished me via facebook, sms, msn, calls and at school. I really really appreciate you guys. =)

I'm so very touched by what you all did. For real, I feel really really happy. I know I'm always the funky-happy-mad friend who's always trying to put a smile on your face, but I never knew that I was umm.. how do I put it... I never thought that I was a big deal to you guys. You guys made me feel important today, for that I really couldn't thank you all enough.

Yes I know that wishes are coming my way, but oh god I never ever thought that I would actually receive presents!!! Just a simple Happy Birthday or even a smile could make my day, yet you guys went through all the trouble to make today a day worth remembering for the rest of my life. I feel awfully touched. Seriously, it's surprisingly emotional.

See Kei gave/made me this. I'm so happy when I saw this. She actually wrote my name in her wish. It came with a lovely card as well. I really appreciate this ck, thanks!!!

I definitely love this one. From baobao, jojo, joey, and jiahe. This is so sweet, and I love all of your handwritings. Really, it's beautiful. Oh girls this is just priceless! I'ma go laminate this.

Haha and there's xinyi. And her brother, Jhsien aka erge! Miss mix. Shh, only she and I knows. I love this present. All the way from the US! That is just sooooooooooo mad awesome!!!!! I don't know how many thank you I should say to express my gratitude. Really, this touched me deep. Oh the present itself? No worries, I'll have a post specially dedicated to it.

Hm it's kinda surprising that most of my presents are from form 4. I guess I've bonded with you guys and girls quite well. I'm glad that we're friends. Even though we may no longer go to the same school and see each other often, it doesn't change a thing. Friends. Forever.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST.

THE MOST PRECIOUS DECK ON EARTH.

The one and only birthday-wish-deck, exclusively from my schoolmates. 52 cards. Every card is a birthday card that represents a card in a poker deck. Ace through king, all for suits. Oh me gosh, I really don't know what to say. First, the person who thought of this idea is genius! I'd never thought of anything like this. This shows that you guys put in a lot of effort to think of this magnificent idea. Thank you thank you thank you x 1/0. And mad thanks to haukit, who drew all 52 cards by hand. And a million thanks to everyone who wrote in it.

This is the most priceless-meaningful-precious-overwhelming-great deck ever existed on the face of the planet. I will treasure this till the day I die.

A♦ Jia Min
2♦ Nermit
3♦ Oi Yee
4♦ Chentel (Earliest birthday wish from this fine lady, 2 days before! Haha)
5♦ Jeslene
6♦ Esther! (Favourite card of mine!)
7♦ Amir
8♦ Sorry I really can't read your signature!
9♦ Beh
10♦ Wei Bin
J♦ CJ
Q♦ Wei Xian
K♦ Jou Heng

Diamonds are my favourite suit as well!

A♣ Ming Hun
2♣ Tian Peng
3♣ Jia En
4♣ Hui Loon
5♣ Soon Ming
6♣ Afiq
7♣ See Kei
8♣ Zhu Wen
9♣ No name!
10♣ Harkiran
J♣ Wei Ming
Q♣ Yi Yong
K♣ Amin

A♥ Xin Hui
2♥ Cui Ling
3♥ Joey
4♥ Su Ping
5♥ Wendy
6♥ Ushalini
7♥ Suresh
8♥ Anis
9♥ Also no name! ( I think it's Su Hwa)
10♥ Hui Gi
J♥ Nishanti
Q♥ Wei Qing
K♥ Shahira

A♠ Xin Yi
2♠ Kok Hui
3♠ Kai Sian
4♠ Dyi Perng
5♠ Yong How
6♠ Amira
7♠ Ler Ling
8♠ Yi Thin
9♠ Qayum
10♠ Bao Ying
J♠ Xin Ying
Q♠ Vanessa
K♠ Cheng Yin

______i___love___you___all______

I really cannot imagine life without all of you.

*Believe what you want, I think I might have teared a little.*

I wanna drive car car

Just woke up from a 3 hour nap, a bit blur now. So if anything you read does not make sense, you know why.

So today is the last day that I'll be blogging as a 16-year teen. When the clock strikes 12am, I'll have to kiss 16 goodbye as I've lived a full 16 years in this world and say hello to the new 17 me. Well technically I'm 17 only around 10am tomorrow, uhmm... whatever.

16 was a great year for me, in a sense that everyone around me is safe and healthy. I guess that's the most important. Just live healthy and life's good. I've made new friends and I'm very glad I did. I've made changes in my lifestyle that shapes who I am today. I know I'm not perfect, I'll keep on improving myself as a person to bring out the best in me.

I started to think really deep into my future. I know what is my passion. And I know that it's going to get really, really tough if I were to pursue it. Of course I'll continue to strive for my studies but I know very well what I'm eyeing for in the long run. I believe that sometimes one has to be crazy enough to go all out and believe that what he does will actually work. But again, this is just me. I don't think anyone agrees with me. Like I've said, when no one believes in you, you'll just have to believe in yourself.

Okay anyways, I hope that it'll be a good 17 for me. Hopefully within a few months you'll see me vroom vroom here and there in a car car. Haha.

*I love my life. But I'm not living it well enough.*

我不懂事

I brought my videocam to school yesterday to record the process of the chinese debate competition. I went to bio lab and left it in class. It got stolen.

I was a retard to leave it there I know. People make mistakes but I repeated the same mistake 2 years ago. That I cannot really forgive myself. I'll be more careful next time.

I went to the teachers and there was a search team. Many prefects were involved and I was grateful for everyone's help. Though at the time we found was nothing, all hopes seemed to be lost.

I suspected Amir, my classmate. Of course I had my reasons. Many people saw that there were people interacting with him outside my class and that they were acting strange. Though I swear to god I had never accused him of doing it. I didn't tell anyone in anyway that he was the one who stole my videocam. He realised that he was suspected and got pissed off when dp agitated him a bit. I called him yesterday to clear things up.

Seriously man, if you thought that I accused you of the crime then it was an misunderstanding, because I didn't. And if you're angry at me suspecting you, well please understand that I have my reasons. I hope this doesn't ruin things between us. I'm sorry.

I have a confession to make. At the time I felt that a malay did it. I don't want this to become a race issue but it was indeed what I felt inside. I don't know why. But what I felt had nothing to do with what I did. Every action was based on facts and proof. I didn't specially check on the malays or anything. I'm sorry to all the malays out there, my mindset was a bit racist. I'll change I swear.

Back to the story. At about half past noon I saw two Malays guy sneaking behind the Bengkel Landskap. They were doing something, I could not see clearly. There wasn't any prefects nearby then and they were leaving. I had to take things into my own hands at that moment. I halted them to check their bags. One of them was willing to let me inspect his sling bag white the the other avoided me and climbed out the school gate.

I followed him and asked Amir Yacob and a friend of his for their help. They were outside the school so I asked them to stop him and try to bring him back to school. After some time, they came back empty handed, claiming that he had walked quickly and got a motorbike and took off.

They could recognize their faces so we went to check for their names and class. All three of them, runaway guy, let-me-check-bag-guy, and motorbike guy are from 4v1. Shamsul, Shah and Fakhrul. So I contacted my father. Of course he was angry. He came to school got things done. Pengetua called Fakhrul to get to Shamsul. A threat was imposed that if they didn't return their steal the police will look into it.

Then I received a message from my father that they returned it. It was great news. I was damn relieved. Needless to say, I still felt guilty for my carelessness. I could not believe how unlucky I was. I mean I could have very well left it on the road and it may still be there a few days later but in school, it was out of sight for only an hour and it's already gone.

Anyways, I got it back from the school earlier today. This is the worst part. The memory has been deleted. Everything is gone. Footages of my family's trips to China, Taiwan, my magic, outings, everything, lost. I felt bad, but not bad enough.

I went home and my dad blew up. He said that those footages were precious memories that could not be brought back. So what now? Are they going to be sponsor my family another trip to Taiwan to collect back our lost clips? He planned to meet the guy's parents. Also he said that I wasn't feeling too bad about it, which reflects that I don't cherish the moments we've had and don't take them seriously.

He's right. I've let you down. I'm so immature. I'm already 17 yet I didn't thought of it that way. At the time I thought that it was a bummer but nothing could be done so let's just get over it. Apparently I was wrong. I felt like a piece of shit. It felt dark and empty. Right now, I feel worthless. What the hell are books for? What the hell is school for? I'm ignorant to many things. Why can't I brighten up? Why is it that my mind is stuck? Why don't I f**king grow up?

I hate myself for this. Hate is a word that I almost never use.

This is going to stay with me for the rest of my life.

*I freaking hate posts like this. But I need to remind myself of all the wrongs I did. I have to.*