Feel what I feel

I wanted to save this post for new year's eve or something. However I'm really feeling it right now. So yea.

I remember the time when I was a kid.

I used to go over to my friend's house. My friends used to come over to mine. We would play non-stop, we would laugh like mad people, we would have fun like there's no tomorrow. Back then I thought that was the greatest time of my life. After a few hours, their parents would arrive to pick them up. When they were about to leave, I felt awfully sad. I didn't want them to leave so soon. I wished they would've stayed a little longer.

Eventually they would all go home. The house suddenly became so quiet that it felt awkward. EMPTY, was the exact word for it. Like a rainbow with its colours taken away. So. Very. Empty. So I just sat in silence. I didn't feel like doing anything. At the same time it felt as if there was nothing for me to do at all. The emptiness didn't last long though. Maybe around 10 to 20 minutes later, I would return to my normal self again. All was fine.

Now.

Take that few hours of fun, convert it into five, eight, ten years of friendship. Do you understand what I am experiencing? My beloved friends, you are about to step out of my life. Once you guys leave, what will I do? How long will I feel empty? How long will I feel sad? How long would it take for me to move on? Right now, I'm sad enough. For real. After we split, I honestly do not know how will I cope with the emptiness, sadness and everything. I will seriously, seriously miss all of you.

Friends that I have known for more than three years, five years, ten years. The friendship we have built is worth more than anything in this world. You can't just take that away. It's cruel. It's not fair. Yet there is nothing we can do but deal with the fact that life is never fair. Not for one damn second.

The only way things can be loved is to realise that it may be lost. This saying is very true. And I'm well aware of that. So I've been loving my life, loving my friendship, loving you all this while. Yet the passing of time is inevitable. I feel so helpless that there we're leaving each other. I bet all of us feel the same way.

My life basically surrounds two things, friends and family. Right now, I'm about to lose half of my life. Without you guys I really don't know what to do. Like I've lost purpose or something. Never will I be able to meet you guys everyday in school. Never will we chat frequently anymore. Never will we see each other often anymore. We may not even see each ever again in our entire lives. This is the end of the road my friends. It is time to say goodbye.

I know I'll meet new people in the future but it'll never be the same. Nothing will ever come close to what we share today. I'm afraid to leave all of you. I'm afraid of what is going to be. I'm afraid to move on. I don't want to move on. I really don't know what to do.

To all of you going to kl, I'm very glad that you guys get to stick together for a longer time. It's really a blessing so don't blow it. Cherish the time you all have together cause after A levels, AUSMAT, or SAM, you'll be in the same position as I'm in now. Promise me that we will keep in touch no matter what. I don't want to lose you guys forever. I mean it. Call, sms, msn, facebook, anything. Let us stay in each other's life.

You are everything to me.

*I had a hard time writing this post cause I'm forcing myself to use words to show how I feel when clearly it's impossible.*

First blood

So guess what?

Hm I wonder why do people say that. I mean there's literally no way anyone could've guessed it right so isn't this a pointless question? And what if that person kept quiet instead of replying, then I'll look like an idiot. Like one of those time when I say "Singapore tomorrow, anyone?", and no response. Wow I could really do this all day, drifting from topic to topic.

Right. Where was I. Oh well guess what. I placed in a youtube contest! 9th out of 942 entries. Yay. It's a magic video contest held by mismag822. Actually this was my second competition of mismag822's that I entered. The first one was the mism 2010 where I had to create a new card effect. I didn't place in that one, my entry simply wasn't good enough.

I shot and edit the whole thing within an hour. Was in a rush as I was leaving for kl the next day. So honestly I wasn't too happy with the end result. The lighting sucks, the volume was low, and it was sloppy. I even spoke grammatical mistakes in my patter. So guys, I advise you not to check out the video. However if you really want to, it's on youtube. I'm too lazy to take it down. It'll probably get like 100 views after 10 years.

Anyway I placed 9th so basically competition wasn't too fierce. Nonetheless I won a blue, a red, and a green deck of bicycle playing cards. I hadn't buy any bicycle's since they changed the box design so these'll be my first ones. Yeap so I'm happy about it. I'll definitely enter more of his contests.

Thanks mismag822!

Check out 4.18 to 4.38. He was like 'khai... ShhSHENG!'. Haha.

* Waiting for the decks to arrive is so exciting. *

The return

Day 4.

Last day it was. Oi Yee, Wei Qing, Hau Kit, Jake and I had breakfast together while the others who stayed up till just now were now sleeping. We were thinking of swimming in the hotel pool but obviously that plan was a fail. We packed up and checked out the hotel. Byebye Citrus.

Our original itinery was to go to Midvalley. Though it was far and honestly there isn't nothing much other than to shop. And I have yet to change my sweat shirt for the right size. So we decided to go back to Farenheit and Pavillion. I picked the right size this time and I picked the black one. I figured it's easier to match. Black goes with almost any colour. Jia En bought a jacket for himself.

We were going to catch a movie but there wasn't any good seats left. So that too was a fail. We split up to have lunch. The girls, Jia En and I ate at Food republic in Pavillion. We met up once more, not sure what else we could do. So we just lingered and ended up in Times. Spent about an hour there I think. I kept harping on how sad it will be after we split, we'll all be at different places, and that we won't get to see each other often. Haha yes I said all those in an exaggerating and joking fashion but I do mean what I said. Uhh. Sad.

As if she found out she's pregnant or something

After that, we went to get our luggages from the hotel and headed to LCCT airport. The driver doesn't take cheques so we had a problem there. An arguement. The boss of the van company even threatened to fire our driver. It was rather chaotic. A few of us talked to the boss to settle things. In the end, we had to cough out all that's left to make up a total of RM920 and ripped the cheque. Oh well, it happens. Jia Min got a bit upset from the scolding she got from the boss through the phone. It's not your fault, so wipe your tears and show us a smile!

Anyways, I didn't had the appetite for dinner. We waited for about an hours at the ariport. Finally we got onto the plane. Took slightly less than an hour to reach Senai. We bid goodbye and split. Jia Min's parents fetched Jake, Hau Kit and I home. Thanks! I stil have Jia Min's belt on and she had my sweater in her bag.

Note-to-self : Collect. Return.

Yeap so that was the four day trip. I definitely had the time of my life. Guys, I hope you do too. I wish to see you guys soon. Still, we have to face the fact that we may not see each other ever again. Seriously. So cherish the time we have left and there shall be no regrets. I love you all.

*For more pictures, visit our facebook pages.*

The way of the sun

Day 3.

I woke up at 8.30am, feeling excited for Sunway Lagoon. Jake wasn't there. Hm no one knew where he went. After preparing some stuff, we went down to have breakfast. Oohh croissant freshly baked from the oven is just too mouth-watering-yummy-tasty-delicious-heavenly. Jake came back, we would find out that he went to explore kl on foot. He even ended up at kl tower. Pretty impressive.

We then hopped on the van and were on our way to Sunway Lagoon! The line was rather long so we had to wait a while. It was a Saturday so it was no surprise. We got in, left our stuff in the lockers and started having fun like mad people. The first ride was the pirate ship thing, I'm sure you all know of it. I wasn't expecting a 360. So I was like ' Wait what? AHHHH!!! ' Man that was fun. We went on all the rides, every single one of them except for the merry-go-round. Yes even that lame spinning cup. The best one one had to be the Lost City of Gold roller coaster and Tomahawk. Our butts were air bourne for a few seconds during the roller coaster ride. And the Tomahawk is basically the extreme version of the pirate ship. Spin spin spin, 360 360 360 till I got a it dizzy.

We reached half point and realised there's no point so we went back.

We then had lunch and I realised I forgot to bring an extra shirt. Had to buy one there and then. I liked it quite a lot, I still do. Not the price though. Then it was wet-wet-water-madness! 11 of us shared three 8-tubes. We didn't went on the water rides. The line was so freaking long it would probably take an hour to go on that 30-second ride. So we skipped those and just lingered around the wave pool and the 'river' where it goes around the whole park. Oh guess what, at the wave pool RTM was shooting for a new year show (I think). Malay artist which none of us know of were there. Estranged was there too. I seem to be the only one who has heard of their music. They're not bad though. So people, watch Astro channel 180 on January 1st, maybe you'll see me, half naked.

Superb shot that cost a bomb

5pm+, we left the lagoon. We got changed and went to Sunway Pyramid. Of course we were starving after all that action. Dinner at Wendy's was a great choice. I had a sinlge melt mushroom burger set and a cheese and cheese baked potato. Oh my god the cheeeeeeeeeeeese, I totally melted on the inisde.

We were plannig to go ice skating but it was a bit pricey. A few of us pulled out and then all of us did. After dinner we split up into groups and went once again, shopping. I heard fil said that there was a magic shop there so I was determined to visit it. I found it, and it sucked. It doesn't even sell decks. Anyways I bought a poker stud deck from another shop that sold collectible items. I bought my dad an adidas shirt that was on sale for only RM29. Red. I like it a lot, too bad there was just L and XL. I got lost. A few times. We met up and went back to Citrus.

The hotel card key doesn't seem to be working in some of the rooms so Jia Min and I went to change them. On our way back we stopped to check out the pool. It was 10pm then. I heard moving trolley sounds. I told Jia Min and she didn't really believe it. I swear I heard it. I'm pretty sure it's just some worker who's on night shift or something.

We didn't sleep. We played 通宵. Monopoly cards! We were new to it but we all picked up the game fast. Thanks for the game Jeremy! We chatted, played cards, watched tv, and soon it was 5am. I slept because it was getting bored. Plus I don't want to have a headahce the next morning. Some of us slept while the others stayed up. 6.30am they woke us up asking if we wanted to have breakfast. Oi Yee, Wei Qing, Hau Kit and I opt to sleep in. We were to wake up at 8am but we were only up at 9.45am. It's funny how my ears don't function at all, not even for the slightest when I'm asleep.

Breakfast time. Wait that's day 4.

*Jeremy - Empty handed once again. Jia Min - F21 bag RM120. *

The mall, the other mall and the other mall

Day 2.

Beh's stupid phone alarm woke all of us in the living room at 6am. We were supposed to be up only at 7 am. So we went back to sleep and then woke up again in an hour. Our breakfast became dinner for the night before so we have nothing to eat, at all. I had half a cup of milo. That's it.

We packed our stuff and waited for the van. He was late. Anyways, we eft Bukit Tinggi and went to kl to have branch. All of us were starving. There was no way we would left ourselves suffer like this anymore. It was Bak Ku Teh time. 11 of us spent about Rm180 and it was definitely satisfying.

After that we left our luggages at Citrus Hotel. We were supposed go for the hop-on-and-off bus tour. Though the bus did not stop for us. Damn. I don't know if we were waiting at the wrong spot or was the bus driver just ignoring us. Anyway, we couldn't wait another hour for then next bus so we were on our own. We took Monorail and LRT to Bukit Bintang and ended up at Sungai Wey mall. Jia En and I walked together. We bought the same shirt from Hang Ten, same size some more.

Then we walked to Farenheit 88 which was just about 10 minutes of walking distance. I went to Uniqlo! The only Uniqlo in the whole Malaysia. My father asked me to buy a wool shirt for him and my mum as they were on sale. Of course I bought something for myself too, a purple (or violet) long sleeve sweat shirt. Later that night I found out that I bought the wrong size.

Enjoying the choir while my body oxidises all the lactic acid in my legs.

Farenheit wasn't open for a long tim so most of the shops weren't even opened. We went to Pavillion which was just next to Farenheit. It's probably the most luxurious shopping complex in kl. Zara, Mont Blanc, Coach, and all those shops that has a glass door. I was so tempted into buying an orange sweater from Topman, though I didn't. Calvin Klein was having a 70% storewide sale. Wow! And when we went there, the cheapest item I saw was probably RM90+. That awesome bag that I saw, after 70% discount, was RM200+. Great.

Jeremy was upset with himself. Cause throughout the few hours he was like ' I like this! Ohh I like that!! Wow Zara!! Oh my god this is so nice!!!'. In the end he bought nothing. So he went back empty handed while the rest of us who shopped with him were holding plastic bags with shirts, sweaters, wallets etc.

Awesome atmosphere

At night, it rained again. Jia Min didn't brought her sweater this time round so she had mine. We had 煮炒 for dinner at Jalan Alor. The O jian, fried oyster was delightful. Vastly different from jb's. Oh we passed by a few rows of shops with girls sitting by the side. Only after that they told there were prostitutes. Yeap, hookers. I seldom go to kl so I wasn't aware of that. They were ugly.

We went back to Citrus and checked in. Beh, Wei Bin, Jake and I roomed together. Everyone gathered at our room and we played memory game with two decks of cards. Haha, it was fun. I guess no one could really remember the position of any card for more than three rounds. Our night ended early about 11 -12pm.

Ah beh said he couldn't sleep cause he heard sighing sounds. I heard them too but it was the exact same sound everytime so I though it was probably the wind or something. At night, Wei Bin somehow slept on the carpetted floor and Beh squeezed me to the side of the bed. Not too awesome.

*That sound was coming from the elevator as our room was right opposite to it.*

The hill

Day 1

We arrived at KL Sentral by train. After having breakfast at McD, we got on the van and headed towards Bukit Tinggi. It was only 10 am when we reached the top of the hill, some 2000 to 3000 feet above sea level. We couldn't check in the apartment till 3pm. So we walked downhill to the club house and had a bowling session. I striked my first turn. That was my only strike. Turned out Jeremy's quite the bowler.

If only Malaysian villages are like this

Colmar d' Tropica, or something like that, aka French Village was the main attraction of the hill. It wasn't really big, it wasn't big at all, it was small, actually really small, so small it'll probably take about 3 minutes to walk from the front to the back. It started to rain. So we were basically stuck there. We had lunch at a restaurant, the menu's somewhat similar to Kenny Roger's, with the chicken, side dishes and muffin.

Oh and Hall of Fame, a three-man-accoustic-band, came to our table and asked for a song request. For some reason I don't know why, I said Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. I was trying to pick something that I haven't before on the guitar. Hell they did well, really really well. Needless to say I filmed it.

We got so bored that we played pool, or was it billiard, or was it snooker. I never knew the difference. Then we took the shuttle bus to Japanese Tea Garden. It was still raining. We walked up the so-called Japanese Tea Garden, where I saw no tea at all, you have to buy them at the shop that is, and you have to rent a kimono for RM20just to take a picture in it.

Clever people remember to bring their sweaters on a rainy day.

We decided to sacrifice our breakfast (cup noodlees + two loaves of bread + two cans of tuna) for dinner because it was too bored to stay at Colmar till night time to have dinne there. So we checked in our apartment at around 5pm. Bathed and rested for a while. The girls, Jia En and I were supposed to be rooming in one of the apartments while the rest stayed in the other. Though we freaking moved two queen size bed from my apartment to theirs so we could sleep together. Sweet right.

Dinner was pathetic, food was scarce. After that, we had our ghost story session. Wei Ming's not really up to it, he kept covering his ears although the whole session ended at only 9pm. Then we gossiped. Digging everyone's secret. We practically analysed everyone's rumours. We called it a night. Hau Kit, Wei Ming, Jeremy, Jia En, Jake (sofa) and I slept in the living room, yea on the two queen size beds. The girls slept in the room, and Wei Bin and Beh slept in the other.

*Wei Ming and Jia En saw some 'thing', till now none of us were quite sure of it.*

Plans that crash like planes

Miss you much

I had a great morning jogging with some friends and having breakfast with them. Listening to their stories can be quite interesting. It's very true that you can learn a lot about a person from listening to what they have to say. I would love to do that again some other time.

In other news, I'll be leaving for kl tonight! Year end trip with my friends. Altogether 11 of us. 4 days 3 night. I'll be back on the 19th at night. I'll be back in action on the 21th I think, considering that I have to spend the day after I return doing my 4 day laundry.

We'll be going to Bukit Tinggi, Sunway Lagoon, and some other popular spots... that I'm not too sure of. There'll be ice skating, roller coaster rides, and shopping! Definitey looking forward to the fun, the craziness and all that jazz.

Hm come to think of it, I haven't been to kl in a few years already. My hometown's not in kl, nor anywhere near there, so I don't get to go there often. This is going to be one hell of a trip. It's going to be insane-whacked-mad-awesome-radical-fun. Oh am I excited.

I have yet to pack. Clothes, decks, phone, ipod, towel, toiletry, what else. Oh videocam, and multi-charging-adapters! I bet everyone's going to be charging their phones, ipods and cameras. They're so gonna thank me for this. Of course, cash. I'm hoping to get a bag there. Just a casual one for outing purposes.

So for the next few days you won't be seeing me. Not on facebook (not often at least), not on msn, not here. Yea if there's anything important, feel free to text or call me.

Oh, I changed my blog song. This one is Sticky Sweet by Erin McCarley. Have fun listening to it while I'm out to partying. I say that in a non-sarcastic tone.

Bon voyage to me, adios to you.

* Today was going to be bigger. *

Feels like vacuum on the inside

You've been by my side all this while

Hey, whatizup!

Yeap, I'm proud to annouce that we're officially free from the torment and the pain brought by the evil lord SPM. Super-Pedofile-Maniac? Super-pacman-mario? Sexy-pacman-mario? Solo-practice-magic? Seven-pickled-mangoes? Ah and they landed on Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia. Borinnnnggggg.

Um I don't plan to go too detail into it, but here's my review anyway.

BM - Hard. Slightly worried that my karangan is off the topic. Expecting B+/A-.

BI - I wrote a boring essay. 1119 probably a B or C. SPM A+/A

SJ - Ish this time is difficult. A/A-/B+.

MM - Silly mistakes, overall easy. A+

MT - Same as the above. A+ / A (if something goes wrong)

PM - Tough. I'm satisfied with an A-. Please..... *fingers crossed*

FZ - Fatal mistakes. A/ A-.

KM - Not that hard, A+. A at the very least.

BIO - A/A-. Hopefully.

BC - Impossibly impossible. I'm expecting B+, hoping for A-.

So that's about it I guess. Ah I'm so relieved now that it's over. Seriously I felt like 10000Pa of pressure lifed of my body when the invigilator said "Masa anda untuk menjawab sudah pun tamat." I didn't said anything or scream out loud. I just gave a hugh sigh of relief.

Haaaaaaaaaaa.......

Oh yea there's this somewhat-kinda-could-be-said-as-pretty invigilator teacher throughout the exam season. It's some sort of a consolation I guess. I mean having to study 6 to 10 hours a day is enough disgusting, and if the teachers there look like shhiii... uh I mean aren't too attractive, that would really take away our mood to do anything at all. So exam wasn't that boring after all. Other than the exam, she's the hot topic of these few weeks I think, not literally.

I would not say that she's diva gorgeous. Let's just say she's sweet and decent looking. Above average compared to any teacher in our school. She's better looking than anyone of them any day. Some of the guys, Hau Kit, Jia En, Amin, Termit, just to name a few, went slightly crazy over her, just slightly. For sure they would deny that, but they're definitely smitten by her looks.

They wanted to take pictures with her, and Jia En got what he wanted after all. I think he must've printed out their picture and make it a poster or something like that. Yea sure she looks good but until that extent that you have a plan to take pictures with her and to talk to her? I mean have you really not seen a pretty girl in such a loooooong time? Just me, just saying.

Okay fine I won't be mean. She's probably the second prettiest teacher that I've seen. Behind Pn Aina, yea that mixed malay who used to teach in our school like a year or two ago. It's a fact.

More posts to come. So look up!

*Kexin sent my ji nian ce to my house, how nice of her. It came with a bun with sugar icing, is eating it now.*

Well neither should I

13 short

So I'm almost done with spm. Left with chinese. And I don't wanna screw up. Ah who am I kidding, that's like asking me to cut ties with cards. Anyways, it'll be over soon. I know. I'm psyched. So are you. I'll talk about that in my next post.

Hmm so... what else. Um I went to an education fair today at Persada. You know, the usual, crowds, talking, and heavy 'tote' bag full of papers and stuff. I don't really felt like going but my parents wanted me to so I did. I went there with two things in mind.

1. To collect 52 name cards to form a deck. In the end I got only 39, so that was a fail.

2. To visit the booths that no one wants to visit. It's a nice guy thing.

I did get a lot of information about this and that. Though I'm not exactly sure of my future path after graduating secondary school. Technically I don't even have a graduation, we don't. Gosh that's just depressing. Anyhow at least I know I'll be dealing with some engineering stuff so at least I'm not too lost.

Oh side note : Soon Ming went with me.

Oh yea I bumped into Lee Yong Hing. My primary school classmate. We haven't seen each other in 5 years so it was definitely nice seeing him. He seems to be doing well. He even has a girlfriend. Good for him. I saw Ke Xin and her beau as well. And Hui Gi too.

Here's the crazy part. I SAW CHOO FANG YI!!! Haha! She was this little girl, literally, who sat beside me in class for 3 years since primary 3. She changed. Her looks, her style. She had a cap on, with the hip hop flavour going on. I liked it. Haha. Though when we spoke I then realised that she's really just the same. I think. I mean she sounds the same, and she speaks the same way she did 5 years ago. It was really a surprise.

And I thought of how everyone thought that we were together just because we sat together for 3 whole years. Haha we were good friends back then. I still remember how we would compete to see who could finish writing our 生字 first. And that she would always win, yet her writings were always neater than mine. Good times.

Don't you find it weird that all the good times are the old times. And it just makes you feel that times just get worse as it goes. It's that what it is? I'm deviating. Ish.

Oh anyways, it's getting late. It's actually 2.28 am in the morning. Just in time for some sleep. I'm getting dizzy, fuzzy, wuzzy, whatever.

*Osteria. You know who are you, lady from Swin Burn. Hah. *

I shouldn't be here

Was. Is. Will be.

Hi.

This blog has been in coma for about three weeks now. So here I am, giving life to thee. Right now you all must be like "Oh my god Khai Xiang shouldn't you be freaking studying ?! ". I know, I know. But hey, I know you're glad to see me here.

So I would like to thank each and everyone of you who wrote on my sayonara papers. They mean a lot to me and I'll treasure them for the rest of my life. And of course for the few others who are not done writing, take your time. However you my friend, whom by the way requested for me to write this post, has probaby forgotten all about it. Haha.

Um yea today I went for my last bm tuition. Probably my last tuition in 2010 as well. A million thanks to Cikgu Radzi. Hands down the best bm teacher in my 17 years of life. If I ever score an A in bm I'd owe it all to him. It was kinda sad that he couldn't say his favourite "Kita jumpa lagi pada minggu depan" like he did after every single class. Oh well, good things must come to an end. This is one of them. I'm also extremely proud to say that I'm survived a whole year of non-sleep-in-Sundays. Waking up 6.45am every Sunday is a major sacrifice to me. I'm glad that it's over.

Oh, I'm having my driving test tomorrow. Cool huh, one week before spm. Not. Well I wouldn't say that I'll fail for sure, yet I'm not that confident. I didn't post it on facebook or anything. If I do so, I know there'll be "good luck", "you can do it", and occasionally "let me know when you fail" which all translates into "Damn I better pass", which translates into pressure, which translates into me getting really nervous, which translates into a higher chance of failing. Right now I feel nothing. Though I'm sure that when I see people sliding down the bukit, I'll start to shake. Well, I still have one last practice session at 6.30am later. Better make the best of it. Uncle, I'll do my best!

Hm what else can I talk about other than the hottest topic nowadays? Vampire Diaries! SPM! So we're about one week away from it. This is the last lap guys. Our one last shot so show everyone what we've got. So let's give it our all. 今天的努力是为了减少明天的遗憾. This line really woke me up. Good luck people!

So I guess this is my last post as a schooling (as in earthling). Um no biggy there. I'm sad to leave my friends, not my school. Ah no worries, I'll continue to harp on how I'll miss you guys and girls in another post.

I changed my blog song by the way. It's All we'd ever need by Lady Antebellum. The version that you are listening to in my opinion is far better than the original. There's just so much soul in this one. I know I'm not into mainstream music and all. Still, I don't label myself as one who only listens to alternative, indie or any specific genre. I'm one who go for what I think is good music. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

It's 1.40am. I'ma get some sleep. And I'll see you guys soon.

*Or maybe not so soon.*