I remember the time when I was a kid.
I used to go over to my friend's house. My friends used to come over to mine. We would play non-stop, we would laugh like mad people, we would have fun like there's no tomorrow. Back then I thought that was the greatest time of my life. After a few hours, their parents would arrive to pick them up. When they were about to leave, I felt awfully sad. I didn't want them to leave so soon. I wished they would've stayed a little longer.
Eventually they would all go home. The house suddenly became so quiet that it felt awkward. EMPTY, was the exact word for it. Like a rainbow with its colours taken away. So. Very. Empty. So I just sat in silence. I didn't feel like doing anything. At the same time it felt as if there was nothing for me to do at all. The emptiness didn't last long though. Maybe around 10 to 20 minutes later, I would return to my normal self again. All was fine.
Now.
Take that few hours of fun, convert it into five, eight, ten years of friendship. Do you understand what I am experiencing? My beloved friends, you are about to step out of my life. Once you guys leave, what will I do? How long will I feel empty? How long will I feel sad? How long would it take for me to move on? Right now, I'm sad enough. For real. After we split, I honestly do not know how will I cope with the emptiness, sadness and everything. I will seriously, seriously miss all of you.
Friends that I have known for more than three years, five years, ten years. The friendship we have built is worth more than anything in this world. You can't just take that away. It's cruel. It's not fair. Yet there is nothing we can do but deal with the fact that life is never fair. Not for one damn second.
The only way things can be loved is to realise that it may be lost. This saying is very true. And I'm well aware of that. So I've been loving my life, loving my friendship, loving you all this while. Yet the passing of time is inevitable. I feel so helpless that there we're leaving each other. I bet all of us feel the same way.
My life basically surrounds two things, friends and family. Right now, I'm about to lose half of my life. Without you guys I really don't know what to do. Like I've lost purpose or something. Never will I be able to meet you guys everyday in school. Never will we chat frequently anymore. Never will we see each other often anymore. We may not even see each ever again in our entire lives. This is the end of the road my friends. It is time to say goodbye.
I know I'll meet new people in the future but it'll never be the same. Nothing will ever come close to what we share today. I'm afraid to leave all of you. I'm afraid of what is going to be. I'm afraid to move on. I don't want to move on. I really don't know what to do.
To all of you going to kl, I'm very glad that you guys get to stick together for a longer time. It's really a blessing so don't blow it. Cherish the time you all have together cause after A levels, AUSMAT, or SAM, you'll be in the same position as I'm in now. Promise me that we will keep in touch no matter what. I don't want to lose you guys forever. I mean it. Call, sms, msn, facebook, anything. Let us stay in each other's life.
You are everything to me.
*I had a hard time writing this post cause I'm forcing myself to use words to show how I feel when clearly it's impossible.*
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